Thursday, September 4, 2008

Deep down, I'm a delicate flower--truly, I am.

Over the years, every now and then, I have been drawn, roped, corralled, into helping someone plan their wedding. And then they quickly go find another friend who just might have a clue. The conversation usually goes something like this...

Doey Eyed Bride to Be:
"Remember when you were a little girl and..."

Me:
"No"

DEBB:
"Seriously, when you dreamed of..."

Me:
"No."

DEBB:
"Come on, every little girl has an ideal..."

Me:
"No, they don't."

DEBB:
"Seriously? You never thought about your wedding?"

Me:
"No. I wasn't going to get married so why would I plan a hypothetical wedding?"

DEBB:
"What about baby names?"

Me:
"Why? I wasn't going to reproduce either."

And then I'm lucky (?) to get invited.

Not too long ago I had a male co-worker who was getting married. His bride-to-be wanted the whole entire fairy tale wedding. And spent a lot of money getting it. Two weeks before the event he was looking a little stressed. I asked how the whole wedding thing was going and he was all, "well, you know--you're married." And then I was all, "um, no I don't know." Then he was all, "but you're a girl." *sigh* Don't they ever learn?

All right, I'll admit there are two exceptions to my "I didn't plan my wedding and I never thought of baby names" bit.

I have always had a sore spot for traditions. Not necessarily the traditions themselves, but more the fact that people followed them like sheep or lemmings without knowing the background. I needed to know why something was a tradition before I could decide if I wanted to follow it or not. Example...For years after I left home I wouldn't put up a Christmas tree because the tradition of the evergreen tree being brought indoors in the winter was started in Germany as a means of warding off evil spirits--the evergreen remained green in the deep of winter so it must therefore be Good. But then I married a man from Colorado and he just really enjoyed the smell of the pine in the house. So now we get a live tree every year because it makes the house smell incredible! And keeps out the evil spirits. It's like a two for one sale.

Anyway--I seem to recall making the statement at one point that if I was ever to get married, I would not, not, wear a white dress. I would wear color. And I did--I wore a blue dress and black boots.

The other exception--the baby name. In primary (elementary) school, there was a girl named Kylie. She was sort of odd, just like me--the only other girl to wear shorts under her school uniform for one thing--and she befriended me just as I was. I loved her name as well. As I got older I decided that if, maybe, one day I was to have a little girl then I'd like to name her Kylie and use my mom's middle name, Gray. Then, wouldn't you know it--along came a little girl who needed a name. The different spelling was her daddy's idea and that kind of makes it that much more special, don'tcha think?


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know I told you this before, but I love her name. I think it's different, but in a beautiful sort of way.

I never dreamed of fairy tale weddings either, BUT I did always have a favorite name that I called my baby dolls and wanted to name my first baby girl. The name was Kristina. However, when I finally got my first baby girl, Tom didn't like the name, so we went with Kailea. And do you know that when I found my biological sister a few years ago, the one that was taken from our birth mom with me, but given back; she had named her first daughter Kristina. Sadly, the baby drowned at an early age. I always thought that it was incredibly ironic that we would both choose that name.

Suburbia said...

I so enjoyed reading your story. I wonder if you kept in touch with Kilie? She would be touched to know her kindness was so well rewarded :)