Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Metaphors and sarcasm...foreign concepts in 3-Year-Old land...

So the Loving Husband and son visited a book store the other day and this book came home. And my creative brain has been churning with ideas. Curled up on the couch last night sharing remodeling thoughts Sean mentioned that I might benefit from autoCAD software--the type that would allow me to transcribe my ideas onto the computer. My first response was negative--I'm an artist. I can draw my own pictures, thankyouverymuch. Then today I was looking around some more and thought that maybe the software would certainly come in handy. I can admit when I'm wrong.

So, tonight at dinner...

Me: I was thinking earlier today that maybe you were right and I'm sorry I pooped on your autoCAD software idea.

Jacob: What did you poop on?

Me: I didn't poop on anything, Jacob. It's just a metaphor.

J: Who met a four?

Me: No, Sweetie, a met-a-phor. It's a word that means one thing but is used to describe another thing. I just didn't think too highly of Daddy's idea earlier.

J: You pooped on the floor?! You're not supposed to do that, Mommy.

Me: No, I didn't poop on the floor! Mommy poops in the potty just like you do.

J: So why did you say you pooped?

Daddy: You want a shovel?

J: Why would Mommy want a shovel? To shovel the poop?

Me: (in my head) Yes. To shovel the huge pile of steaming poop she now finds herself under.

M: (out loud) Eat your chicken.

J: Why is Mommy stabbing herself in the eye with her fork?

Okay, the last sentence I made up. But mentally that's exactly what I was doing!

Aaaaaand....seeing as we're already on the subject, let's just continue on down the spiral, shall we? Bet you'll be singing this all day tomorrow.

To reach...the unreachable dream...

Sooooo close...or really bad placement of a sunbeam...

Kitty, kitty, kitty...

Sebastian T. Cat wasn't giving up his sunbeam.
They've been far too scarce of late.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Looking for Spring...

...we've been told it's really on it's way this time. Truly. The weather man wouldn't lie to me, would he?

In the meantime, Jacob and I have been getting our wee seedlings' final resting...er, plant bed place in order. Going wild and crazy and trying something new. Straw bale gardening. We currently have a couple bales outside "cooking" (fermenting and composting) as I type this. I also have a couple containers for one or two of the tomato plants--just in case!

Spring...where are you? My allergy afflicted sinuses tell me you're here--but my frigid toes tell me a different story!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

More comic relief...

Blame him. He started it. That and the Force was strong with me today--I managed to pass off both of Kyleigh's foul and putrid diapers to the Daddy.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

My job here is done.

Just now--a "conversation" between the Fruit of My Womb:

No, MA'AM! You need to use your inside voice, Kyleigh!

No! No shrieking.

And you need to use your 'poon!

Yep. That sort of sums up the total of our rules* around here. My eldest has now become the parent. I may now retire. I'm already looking up airfare to Tahiti.

*Just in case you were curious I've provided a list of our Rules for your review:

Household Rules
1. Don't be dead
2. No shrieking
3. Use the appropriate silverware to eat with--sometimes that does mean your hands.
4. Say "please" and "thank you"
5. Don't pee on the cat

Monday, March 23, 2009

Conversation pieces...

Of course this had Jacob all sort of curious...

Why is there a police dog?

Because maybe this policeman does what Daddy does and has a dog for a partner.

Just like Daddy and Helix!

That's right--just like them!

Why didn't my Lego policeman come with a dog?

Because technically, it's your Daddy's Lego policeman that Aunt Donia gave him for an Academy graduation present and he didn't work with Helix then.

Does he help out his policeman with finding "esposive" bomb stuff?

Maybe. What do you think?

I think he does dog training like the other dogs at the police dog place.
Hey, why don't my policemen come with pins?

Because I'm sure there are laws regarding just that sort of thing.

And comments from Kyleigh also abounded...

Doggy! Doooogy. Woof, woof. Dada! Doggy. Dada! Woof (giggle, giggle).

It really doesn't need to be said that I'm so proud of both of my offspring, does it?

Or that I come here in desperate search of adult conversation?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Finally...jewelry I can wear!

I told her she had me at Yoda, then she came up with these. And dang near made me cry! He had to put his radio up--but so far, these have been well received by the whole family. However, a word of warning: if you should visit Miss Soozcat's Etsy shop, do not attempt to read the jewelry details while drinking. There will be spewage. You have been warned.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

How do you flu?

Apparently--and pretty much unbeknownst to me--I've been battling the stomach flu all week. Yea. I'm always exhausted, so no clue there. When my sinuses act up I tend to get a little queasy. Our hawthorn maples have started with their blossoms, so I just chalked that part up to allergies. So, there you have it. Guess--with the exception of being really grumpy--I handle days with a stomach bug like any other day.


The cat is much better. He appreciates all the well wishes and kind words. At least I think he does. Sort of hard to tell. But when he woke me up this morning yowling for his breakfast, I couldn't help but miss the past week when he was miserable yet silent.

Bad Guys have actually let me sleep uninterrupted the past several nights. The wonderful Husband has his own updates.

We are now the oh, so proud parents of a Child Who Reads. Jacob and I were making cupcakes a couple of days ago--Applesauce Spice--when he pointed to a recipe on the other side of the page.

J: I want to make Banana Cupcakes instead.

M: How do you know that's a recipe for Banana Cupcakes?

J: Because it says so right there (pointing to the word Banana). Banana Cupcakes.

Well. All right then. Did I mention that he doesn't turn four until June?

I then had to explain to him that while that recipe did look good, our bananas weren't ready to be made into cupcakes just yet. But we had all of the ingredients for the Applesauce Spice recipe. As long as I let him dump everything in the bowl and stir, he really doesn't care what the outcome is. I just make sure it's still eatable.

Sean has been working long days the past couple of days. Leaving me to my own devices for supper. Last night, after throughly and disasterally committing dinner, I decided to let someone else cook tonight. There's a deli bought egg pie in the oven right now. And no slow cooker pot to scrub out! Just the comfort food the doctor would have ordered if I'd bother to go see one.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Wait...what day is it?

Something I still can't figure out is this: I work from home, yet somehow my weekends still manage to be a chaotic jumble of "This Has To Be Done In These Two Days" chores. How is that possible when I have all week to clean the house and plow my way through loads of laundry? Or is because while I do those things all week, neither rests on the weekends. Sooooo...add those to my usual "To Do" list for the weekends and I get instant Stress and Mayhem. Sigh. Or Alien conspiracy. I could go either way.

So, why a slightly more frazzling weekend than usual?

I may have mentioned somewhere that our ancient feline family member is also diabetic? Sounds like fun, huh? Two insulin shots a day and ungodly expensive prescription cat food. Friday afternoon Sebastian T. Cat just wasn't right. I mean even more Not Right than usual. Turns out he has a cold. He wasn't in the least bit interested in eating which meant we stopped giving him his insulin shots. And yesterday I was feeding him chicken broth through a syringe. Oh, he very quickly decided that he was OK to eat on his own, out of his own dish, thankyouverymuch. He's doing better today--actually wandering around moaning and groaning instead of laying on the bed moaning and groaning. I'm really hoping that when his vet calls me back she won't insist on taking a look at him--that's just a pain in the booty, not to mention the wallet! I gotta tell you--there is
nothing more pitiful than an ancient, insulin dependent, diabetic cat with a cold. Sorta makes the Man Flu look like nothing more trifling than an occasional sneeze.

Saturday afternoon rolled around and I was already exhausted from being up at 6 am to go wait in line--in the cold and wet--and sign Jacob up for one of the county's two week long day (half day) camps this summer. It really wasn't all that bad. I was layered up, had my chair and book, had a friend to chat with, had my coffee and around 7:30 someone did a breakfast run to McDonald's. The preschool camps fill up really fast and I think I got one of the last spots for the one we wanted--but he did get in, so...Yea. (When I walked out of the building at 10, there were
still people lining up outside!)

However, my plan for a relaxed evening was foiled by Kyleigh face planting on the step. Blood everywhere, a chipped front tooth, crying baby, hysterical mommy and a curious big brother wanting to see the blood. She managed to knocked the tooth a little loose, which resulted in a night long continuous cycle of her putting stuff in her mouth, having it hit that tooth, causing pain and the screaming starting all over again. Stop putting stuff in your mouth! Geez, you'd think a 17-month-old could figure out the whole Cause and Effect thing by now. It would have been rather comical if she wasn't so miserable! This morning? Like nothing ever happened.

Finally--why do people only make bomb threats in the wee hours of the morning? Why not at 9am when the bomb squad people are already out and working? And why don't people stash their guns in the woods during regular working hours? My poor husband and his furry partner have been called out at least a half a dozen times in the past two weeks--and most of those calls have been in the middle of the night. Hey, Bad Guys, you listening? Stop messing around with my sleep! I'm the Non-Gun Totin' Pacifist in the family but I will get violent if you keep making that phone ring at 3am.

Now where did I leave my coffee...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The apologies are going start rolling in...any day now...

I found this a while back...scientist now believe that doodling can help improve your memory. Huh. I could have been on the team of monkeys that helped figure that out.

Cannot even begin to count the number of times I got in trouble in school because my "lack of attention" manifested itself in doodling. Notebooks covered in scribbles. Illegible margins filled with circles, scratchings, lines intertwined with lines. Odd how I always seemed to pass my tests and actually had decent grades on my report cards.

Okay, the lessons where I have poetry and screen plays jotted down in the margins--I wasn't listening there. You got me. But those were when the teacher was really, really boring. Putting ink to my teenage angst was so much more polite than yawning and falling asleep, don't you think?

So...for Sister Lythem who felt the need to correct with the ruler and the maths book colliding with my head, Mr. Newport who never really believed that Americans spelled all of those words differently than the British, and Mr. Wilson who claimed my "attitude" would only get me in trouble one day and had lousy taste in art...you were all wrong. So there.

And to my children's future teachers...they will be encouraged to doodle. Sorry. Nothing personal. But I will do my best to teach them to refrain from drawing T-rexs (T-rexi?) piloting F-14s in the middle of your math lesson.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Reason #43 to love the South...

Exactly one week ago we were out frolicking in the snow...

Today? 80 degrees and a bright, sun shiny day. Perfect for exploring...

Roasting marshmallows on the firepit...

Windows wide open. Fresh spring-like breeze flowing through, clearing out stale winter air.

Friday, March 6, 2009

They've been peeking in my windows again!

The Buckets

Heroes among us

There are a lot of bloggers out here. A lot of blog readers. And there comes a time when we bloggers need to ask ourselves, shall we use this power for good or for not-so-good? Today I choose to use this for good.

The internet is a strange and magical place. Sometimes we run into people we know. We learn more of their lives and we realize that there
are true Heroes lift in this world.

I first met Amy Clipston a number of years ago at a bar-b-que. She was a coworker of friend. (We have since discovered that we graduated from the same college and remain in contact with the same two professors.) Amy and I met again when the same mutual friend was helping Sean and I pack up our house in order for us to move here in October of 2003.

My grandmother had been living with us for a while and, even though she had moved to live with one of my cousins, all of her furniture was still in our house. No one within the family wanted it or had the desire to drive down and fetch it, so our local thrift store was about to receive a windfall of furniture and nick-knacks. Amy's husband had been on dialysis for kidney disease and had just been informed his kidney was failing and was in need of a new one. While their medical insurance covered some of the cost it didn't even come close to covering enough to make it an affordable option. We all had a light bulb moment--Dilemma meet Solution Number Two. Amy and her husband, Joe, were able to sell everything we donated to them. The money raised help cover the cost of transplanting a kidney her husband received from his brother.

Now, several years later, Joe's body is fully rejecting his transplanted kidney. They find themselves back on the donor list. Amy actually completed the tests necessary to find out if she could donate one of her kidneys and, unfortunately, she is not compatible. They are looking at all of their options. Amy is continuing the testing process to become a "paired donor"--if she's a match to someone else then it moves them quicker up the waiting list.

Amy and Joe live the Charlotte, NC area. I know of several regular readers of my humble little blog who also live in that area. If you (no matter where you live) would like to find out more, here's how:

Donor should contact:
Tanya Feemster
CMC Transplant Center

The donor must have Type O or B blood. A simple blood test will get the ball rolling. If the donor passes that first blood test, then he/she will go through more tests to insure the compatibility and also insure that he/she is well enough to undergo surgery.

All of us 70 thousand or so bloggers out there can make a difference!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

If you're the praying kind...

please take a moment and do so...

Word on the street is that the ICC is making their decision on whether or not to go through with the arrest warrant on Wednesday 4 pm Sudan time (9 am EST). Of course threats of reciprocating violence have been made. Because that's an effective way to make a point--welcoming violence with violence. It's worked so well in the past.

And, yes, I have a personal interest in the situation. I would like for my children to have their grandparents around for quite a bit longer, thankyouverymuch!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Don't get into a snowball fight with a 3-year-old...

He cheats!

The south east rarely gets snow like this. Forgive us if we're a tad giddy!

Today I am grateful for the following products: Patagonia Capilene, Icebreaker wool and Gore-Tex. Also for my ancient clothes dryer which has been running non-stop all day! Oh, and also very--so very grateful--for my husband who made the most delicious chicken pot pie for supper!

We also found out today that as a member of EOD K-9 Sean is considered "non-essential" personnel. Translation: if county government is closed again tomorrow, guess who gets to stay home again? Because he is most certainly Essential Personnel here! We may even let him get some school work done.

Snow daze...

So, finally--the more insane members of our family got their wish--SNOW! More importantly, snow that sticks around for a little longer than a minute!

I was informed yesterday afternoon that we were going out to play. Now. Because the snow doesn't last here, Mommy! It'll be gone in just a little while. Must go out. Now. So, out we went--two wee little bundles of coats, boots, hats and mittens and me. To climb, to roll around, to play. To eat snow. Just not the yellow bits, please.

Then, imagine their uncontainable joy to wake up this morning
to lots and lots of SNOW.
Once again--gathered coats, hats, boots and mittens.
This time I had re-enforcements since Daddy had already taken the day off.

But for some reason...she just didn't enjoy being out there today. Maybe because the snow was up to her waist? And already wearing boots too big making it difficult to walk. That was fine. Mommy would much rather enjoy
the snow from the warm indoors looking out.

My eldest offspring, on the other hand, cared nothing for the fact that his butt was cold or that he could most likely no longer feel his extremities.

One of our two ancient oak trees in the back yard.

A pause for a mitten fix.

Somehow I doubt that the garbage truck will be making it's way down our street
at some point today. Especially since it was announced that the entire county
government was closed.

Dakota T. Dog in his natural element. The snow has brought out the puppy in him!