Sunday, April 20, 2008

A diet and exercise program that works...

And for just three easy payments of $19.95 it can be yours! Okay, just kidding about that part. Oh, wait...maybe I could profit from this...

Since I'm under 10 pounds away from my pre-preggo weight (I can get those dang size 4 jeans on but it's not pretty--no, it's not) I just might know what I'm talking about. This isn't like Dr. Phil hawking his weight loss program. Spare me the rhetoric, Dr. Non-Svelte "Trust Me, I'm a Nutritionalist" Phil.

The diet.

Real easy. Take whatever is on your plate and split it with your toddler. It makes no difference what it is, or that he already has food on his plate. I cannot recall the last time I actually ate a sandwich in it's entirety. And drink lots of coffee. Yes, I know that caffeine causes cancer. And weird non-cancer lumps in your breasts. However, I rarely ever get headaches. Coincidence? I think not.

The workout.

Carry a 14 pound baby around. Everywhere. Chase after an almost 3-year-old. All day. Every day. Carrying the baby. Up the stairs because we forgot clean clothes. Back down stairs because Daddy is sleeping--shhh. Back up the stairs because Jacob wants his Kokoo blanket. Oh, and this one is only for the advanced class--balance the baby on your hip, stoop down and lift up the toddler to put him in his car seat. Bonus points if you manage to do so without bumping anyone's head on the door, without dropping the baby and without getting muddy from flailing toddler's muddy shoes. Extra cardio is involved for forgetting the car keys in the front door.


Gina said...

Ha Ha Ha...isn't that the truth about an exercise program called chasing kids. Everyone always asks, "how do you stay so skinny?" and my response is CHASING KIDS! Now, don't get me wrong I've been tucking my rear in all winter, but that's because I've been sitting on it all winter:) Things are definitely coming around though with the warmer weather settling in, thank goodness.

Have a great night Dori!

PS...Your kids are so darn cute.

Marit said...

What about poor old me who has no little ones to carry around? I can try heaving around my 100 pound son, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to keep my balance ;-)

Dori said...

I'm sorry, Marit! No one plan works for everyone! I really don't recommend either for you--Tristin would clear your plate and you'd end up starving! Not the results we're going for. :)