Thursday, March 26, 2009

My job here is done.

Just now--a "conversation" between the Fruit of My Womb:

No, MA'AM! You need to use your inside voice, Kyleigh!

No! No shrieking.

And you need to use your 'poon!

Yep. That sort of sums up the total of our rules* around here. My eldest has now become the parent. I may now retire. I'm already looking up airfare to Tahiti.

*Just in case you were curious I've provided a list of our Rules for your review:

Household Rules
1. Don't be dead
2. No shrieking
3. Use the appropriate silverware to eat with--sometimes that does mean your hands.
4. Say "please" and "thank you"
5. Don't pee on the cat


8 comments:

Meadowlark said...

Those are fairly simple. #1 gets harder in the teen years.

We had a BAD rule "Question authority". It was a good rule until they were teens and then I had to remind them "i didn't mean MY authority, I meant, you know... "the MAN"." That's a BAD rule, just FYI.

Suburbia said...

Don't pee on the cat?!!!! LOL

Sx

Dori said...

So, ML, my amendment should be "Never, ever question the Mommy"? I could live with that one. :D I just figured that once they reached the teens my standing rule would be that debates were fine, but cross the line into Disrespect and I win by default.

And, Sub, ya know--I'd like to say that that's just a random, made up rule to round out the list. I'd also like to say that it's there because of my children. But I can't. It was actually implemented long before children came along. And now you know why the cat hates my husband. Though, to be fair--it was totally the cat's fault.

Momma Val said...

Ha! Like the last one the best. I found myself just yesterday saying to Little Buddy "We don't put Mommy's bra in the toilet!!!" Then some days I think I have to laugh at some of the things that come out of my mouth in regards to correcting my toddler. Nice rules!

Meadowlark said...

Actually, that came up for us when they were teens... we'd "debate" (we called it ARGUE) but sometimes I'd just have to pull rank. And I did it exactly that way - Guys, I'm pulling rank. And they'd know the discussion was over.

I did it very, very rarely, so it came in handy.

Soozcat said...

#3 in our household is parsed as "We are a tool-using species."

Also, in my family there was another one:

6. Don't run around nekkid.

My brothers were very casual about getting out of the shower, drying off, and moseying down the hall sans towel. This didn't always go over too well, especially when they got to be teenagers.

Even now it is common for me, my siblings and our spouses to enter Mom's house with the casual yell, "Anybody naked?" and to hear several (facetious) responses throughout the house of "Me!" or "Hang on a minute, I can get that way!" Goofballs.

Unknown said...

The cat rule, and subsequent explanation, have me rolling!!! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Wait, so your husband peed on the cat? I have to know (or I wish to) what the cat did to deserve that. lol.

We have no kids but my cats only have two rules, which they manage to break anyway.

1. Don't bite momma
2. Don't jump on the kitchen countertop (including the stove)

You'd think, with the run of every other countertop, table and surface of the house they'd be able to hold themselves back. But no.