Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Blame it on Casper

Mommy, how do I get to be a ghost?

Sweetie, you have to be Dead. But that, of course, would be violating House Hold Rule #1: Don't Be Dead.

(House Hold Rule #5 is: Don't Pee On The Cat. You'd think we actually wouldn't have to write that one down, wouldn't you?)

So, when I died I'll be a ghost?

Actually, Fruit of My Womb, I think the only people who get to be ghosts are those that feel really deeply they left something undone when they died and they somehow stick around.

So, where will I be when I died?

Ohhhhh....think, think, think! Faster....FASTER....the longer I hesitate the more questions he's thinking up...THINK! Do I go into the whole Heaven and Hell thing? How can I mention Heaven without talking about Hell? And the child is 3 years old! For the love of God, is he really ready for a discussion on Judgment and Eternal Damnation?! They never discussed this in Hermeneutics. That would have been far too practical of a lesson for a Bible college.

I'd like to say that I handled the situation with style and poetic grace. I'd like to say that. Instead, I choked.

After living a very long and happy life, when you die you'll just stay died--peaceful and happy.

Apparently it was a good enough answer and he moved on.

We'll start him on Dante next year.

5 comments:

Suburbia said...

That's the best explanation I've ever had! 'You'll die and you'll stay died' lol:)

Unknown said...

OH! OH! Pick me! Pick me!

I give to you the best comeback--good in any "Holy crap what do I say now" moment with your wee offspring: ready? Here goes: "What do you think happens?" And from there you can adequately see where on the Richter scale of explanations your child's mind has landed. It works like a flippin' charm.

For instance, when Amanda asked me three weeks ago or so how the baby was going to get out of my tummy. So I asked her the lovely question to ascertain was it time to whip out the stork explanation or the biology books. She was somewhere near the latter, and very shyly pointed to her nether regions. But anyway, it works. And maybe you can get him to talking and branch off into some other lovely subject that you'd prefer to discuss. Like nuclear physics.

Oh, and hi. Trying to come out of my cave... :)

Dori said...

Gosh, Amy, thanks! Only, I've tried that and his brilliant response? No, Mommy, what do YOU think happens? And thus ensues an endless round of "what do you think?" "No, you" "No, no, I insist--you go." This is the spawn of Sean we're discussing? Nothing works like a charm.

Oh, Suburbia, so happy to clear that up for you! :D

randompawses said...

(House Hold Rule #5 is: Don't Pee On The Cat. You'd think we actually wouldn't have to write that one down, wouldn't you?)

OMG, and here I thought it was just my kids who had to be told things like that! I am sooo glad they grew out of that stage...

Dori said...

*Sigh* (holding hand over face while shaking head) I'd really like to say the "Don't pee on the cat" was implemented due to the children. I'd really like to say that. But...I can't. There was an incident involving the Husband and the dog--outside--and the cat darted out and one (ahem) of them was in full stream. Yeah. It's not because of my son.