Tuesday, October 7, 2008

An odd assortment of mail...

A few days ago the postman delivered an invitation. At first I thought it was for my parents--they've used this address in the past. Then, no--that truly was my name on the envelope. Someone, somewhere must have had a dyslexic moment and reversed the numbers of my age. I can think of no other reason why the AARP would be sending me an invitation for membership--even had a card all engraved with my name. To the best of my knowledge I haven't purchased anything beige or wicker in the past several months. (Yes. I know that's a stereotype. But I was offended, People! And a little hurt.)

My first gray hairs showed up when I was in high school. My experiment with hair colors tapered off when my son was born--my gray roots showing all of the sudden ended up at the bottom of the priority list! Well, thanks to that little envelop of love we're breaking out the Nice-N-Easy this week. How does some shade of purple sound? Oh, maybe you can help me choose a different shade--I've run the full gamut of hair colors. Except platinum blond. Please don't even suggest it.

And in the "How Ironic Is This?" category--somehow my name and address was put on the mommy-to-be lists. I am once again being bombarded by baby formula and new born diaper samples. Before you even say it--No. They do not know something I don't know. In spite of my cleaning frenzies and odd eating habits, there is not another little one on the way. Besides, the husband will tell you that I always eat weird stuff. Being pregnant had nothing to do with it.

So if you happen upon this headline out in cyber news somewhere:
63-Year-Old Gives Birth! Obviously Unstable New Mom Claims Immaculate Conception! It's not me. Honest!


Irene said...

Hee, hee, so you are 36 then? You can still conceive and not be immaculate. Unless you keep you legs crossed all the time. Or keep your wooden shoes tied together. That's supposed to be a sure fire way of anti conception here in the Netherlands.

Dori said...

Ah, but when the Husband is shooting blanks...it'd be a tad awkward to explain otherwise.