Monday, May 12, 2008

Just hanging on

Gramps used to have a saying: "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" Right now I feel like that's all I'm doing--hanging on and the knot is starting to slip.

While this wasn't the worst weekend I've ever had--a weekend early December 2003 takes that title--it was certainly the worst Mother's Day I've ever had. And that includes all of the ones where I refused to get out of bed because my infertile, incapable of reproducing self simply couldn't face a world full of happy moms.

I won't go into details because I refuse to air my own dirty laundry in public. I will say that it was a whole combination of stuff--taking on too much with the bathroom, no sleep on anyone's part, both Husband and I being sick and the weather remains crappy so Jacob can't go outside and a whole lot of things--some piddly, some not--that have been ignored and left unresolved. And basically spending the day feeling like an inconvenient obligation--with a whole lot of self pity thrown in!

Also, over the weekend, the city where my parents live has come under rebel attack. May or may not have been an attempted coup. Third world politics drawn along the lines of ancient hurts.

I have actually been able to stay in contact with them--internet is still up and running. This morning while we were talking on Skype I kept hearing fighter jets flying overhead. Lovely. The airport is also closed to all international flights. They were/are supposed to fly out Tuesday afternoon and arrive here Wednesday evening. As of right now it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

I know they're where they want/need to be and that they are protected in ways most people can't understand. And just like with my husband's job--if I wasted time worrying about them that's all I would ever do.


Anonymous said...

I won't ask details on here as I'm sure you left them out for a reason on the whereabouts of your parents, but my thoughts are with you guys concerning their safety. Hopefully, they will still be able to come. I know you all were desperately looking forward to it.

I'm really sorry you had a bad weekend. Marriage, Life....all those things can make you want to rack your brain sometimes. I hope you were at least able to enjoy your Mother's Day.

I know it's a little late, but HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Marit said...

I just want to come over, give you a big hug, make you a cup of chai and then send you off to bed for a good nights sleep....
Instead, here are all my best wishes for you and your parents! And good for you for venting.

big dutch hug from Marit

Suburbia said...

I'm not sure where your parents are but I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a bad time and the worry of your poor parents as well, everything seems to come at once doesn't it?

On a lighter note I like this new colour scheme!