Just hanging on

Gramps used to have a saying: "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" Right now I feel like that's all I'm doing--hanging on and the knot is starting to slip.

While this wasn't the worst weekend I've ever had--a weekend early December 2003 takes that title--it was certainly the worst Mother's Day I've ever had. And that includes all of the ones where I refused to get out of bed because my infertile, incapable of reproducing self simply couldn't face a world full of happy moms.

I won't go into details because I refuse to air my own dirty laundry in public. I will say that it was a whole combination of stuff--taking on too much with the bathroom, no sleep on anyone's part, both Husband and I being sick and the weather remains crappy so Jacob can't go outside and a whole lot of things--some piddly, some not--that have been ignored and left unresolved. And basically spending the day feeling like an inconvenient obligation--with a whole lot of self pity thrown in!

Also, over the weekend, the city where my parents live has come under rebel attack. May or may not have been an attempted coup. Third world politics drawn along the lines of ancient hurts.

I have actually been able to stay in contact with them--internet is still up and running. This morning while we were talking on Skype I kept hearing fighter jets flying overhead. Lovely. The airport is also closed to all international flights. They were/are supposed to fly out Tuesday afternoon and arrive here Wednesday evening. As of right now it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

I know they're where they want/need to be and that they are protected in ways most people can't understand. And just like with my husband's job--if I wasted time worrying about them that's all I would ever do.