I decorated a pretty cake for a friend's birthday party tomorrow. I lost myself in the classical music playing and the beauty of the sugar coming together to form Art.
This afternoon I finished a cake for a special little 3-year-old who wasn't expected to make it beyond his 2nd month. Even though his party was canceled because he woke up from his nap with a fever, he still got his birthday cake and made sure "Dowey" knew he loved the tractor.
This evening I hung out in the kitchen with my kiddos playing with modeling chocolate. Teaching my son how to make a ribbon rose. Though they both ended up making volcanos out of what they didn't eat. And then eating the volcanos.
There were extra long snuggles. Extra good night kisses. And when the boy came back downstairs with his nightly "I can't sleep because..." excuse, instead of telling him goodnight again and merely sending him back to bed I went with him and tucked him back in. With one more good night hug and kiss.
I made no attempt to hide my sorrow, my heartbreak. I will never lie to my children or hide the truth from them. The boy and I talked a little about the events of the day. He had already heard some and he'll most likely hear more. It's important that he is not scared to return to school on Monday. It's also important that he knows to take their lockdown drills seriously and to also have a course of action should something ever happen at his school. Knowing my child as I do, he'll have more questions tomorrow.
But tonight, my heart mourns for the families forever broken.