Monday, May 3, 2010

Storm clouds...

I really am not sure how to write this post. I've started it--or ones just like it--numerous times over the past couple of months and I kept failing to either dig out what was inside of me or put it all together as a collective thought and articulate it in a way someone other than the voices in my head would understand.

"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up..."

Extensive blood work, x-rays, MRI and fluid samples taken from this little cutie's swollen-up-like-an-orange knee have all come back Inconclusive. All persons involved agree that there is, indeed, Something Wrong...just can't seem to find a Label. However, the Bad Stuff we don't want to even think about our children having has pretty much been ruled out.

This morning the orthopedic specialist discussed the fact that at some point we have to start treatment. The few abnormalities that keep popping up suggest Lyme Disease. Ironically enough, the first doctor suggested it back in February. But the blood work came back Maybe/Maybe Not.

So, this morning we left with a Plan. And a Treatment. Three weeks of antibiotics. Have you ever given a 2-year-old oral medication? Sounds simple enough. How about a stubborn, red head, 2-year-old? No? Her dose this evening ended up back on her, on me and on the floor--mixed with what she had managed to eat for dinner...and lunch. Bribery, hiding it, masking it with chocolate...nothing worked. And we have three weeks of this. Yea us. Assuming we can get the medicine down her, we should see a response in a few days. If not...well, our Plan has a part B.

Anyone who has dealt with a sick little one knows that feeling of Helplessness--the feeling that you've done all you can do but it's still not enough. The inability of the little one to tell you exactly where it hurts. The jammy snuggles on the couch.

This is my Child. One of two people on this Earth that I will die for. And we've been on this emotional roller coaster of Not Knowing. And it's a sucky place to be. And pointless. So I decided to not Worry. Yes, I was concerned and continued pursuing answers. But what good was I to everyone else in this family if I was wrapped up in Worry and Helplessness? And you know what? That tight band around my stomach loosened up...my brain slowed down enough at night to allow restful sleep.

Wow. Someone should write that stuff down! Worry=Sucky. Not Worrying=Restful Sleep.

Storm clouds...a promise of cleansing rain.

11 comments:

Christina LMT said...

I'm so sorry this is happening, but I have to say that you have a wonderful attitude. I hope the antibiotics work, and that your princess feels better ASAP.

marit said...

Wise, wise woman! Glad for you that the not worrying is working out. It's hard work, for me at least. I find myself slipping into worry more times than I would wish for.
Hope the antibiotics work, and hope even more that the resistance will break. Have you tried having her give it to herself in a syringe?

AmyLoopers said...

Can you get flavored meds? Once upon a time I had to have a doctor reissue a Rx so I could get it flavored from Walgreens instead of regular from RiteAid. Just a thought...

I'm very glad that they've started to try *something*. I hope it makes that swelling disappear!

Amy

Momma Val said...

I'm glad you filled us in. I kept thinking about your little girl but didn't want to bring it up if you were having a trying-not-to-think-about-it-day or weren't ready to share. Best of luck with the meds, I have no idea what else you can do. Too bad they can't give you liquid. My girlfriend had luck with a tough kid and mixing it with chocolate milk? I hope for the best! I am a huge worry wart, I wish I could not worry like that. You are very strong Dori :)

Dori said...

Thanks, all!

Amy (if that IS your real name...)and Val...the medicine is liquid and bubble gum flavored. Yum. And, yet, she's still resistant. She actually used to be really good with taking meds until last month when she was on a round of naproxin and NO amount of strawberry flavor was going to cut THAT taste! So now? All medicine is nasty. The pharmacy is giving it to us in batches since we need it for so long. I think the next batch I'm going to ask for unflavored and mix it in with her chocolate milk. I'm thinking she'd actually do better if it was a tablet--treat it like candy. We've tried a dosage cup, a dose spoon and the syringe. So far, the syringe is the most effective--only lose about half the dose instead of all of it.

Momma Val said...

You may have more luck with the chocolate milk mixing, my friend swears by it. Also, my son refuses to take any liquid anymore too. We have had luck with the chewables. Too bad they don't have a tasty little chewables for ya. OR maybe you could make some popsicles and put the meds in that? Good luck!

SAge said...

Hang in there--sooner or later, everything will be okay.

mrs. fuzz said...

oh! I hate when stuff happens to little ones and especially when you don't know what it is. Your attitude always amazes me. I am a fall apart type when it comes to the kids. Our oldest had to have an MRI when she was 3 months old and I could not handle it at all.

Good luck with your stubborn red head! :) Let us know if you come up with any tricks for her taking that medicine!

Natalie said...

Always starting with a quote from Inigo Montoya (or anything else from Princess Bride) means you have the right attitude. Thank you for this post and sharing your strength.

Good luck with the medicine! I too have a red-headed two year old princess that will do only what she wants to do. It's much easier giving my son meds, for sure.

We've been giving him nasal spray to ease the pressure on his ears, so we've called it "magic spray." It goes in his nose but is meant to help his ears, so it's magic and therefore cool to take. He's been such a trooper about it!

Dori said...

Yea for someone picking up on the Princess Bride quote! You rock, Natalie!

She's doing better with the meds--finally! Now, maybe we'll start to see results. I hope. I pray!

Anita said...

It's now 7 months later. You have had quite a year.

Wishing you many blessings during this Christmas season and many wonderful surprises in 2011!