Perspective...

We went out tonight. As a family. Something we most likely will not repeat until sometime nearer the year 2014.

It was simple enough. Pizza. Member's only night at the Children's Museum. Anyone would have been thrilled. Delighted even. And it was like our two offspring had never been out in public before. Ever.

Wee girl received a new pair of pants from the museum's tiny little thrift store because she managed to douse herself with her milk in the ten minutes it took for us to go from restaurant to museum. And the boy child spent the last bit of the trip running around commando due to a bathroom incident.

Even though they both managed to enjoy themselves--it was delightfully uncrowded--they both expressed disappointment as we drove by the baseball stadium filling up with people and we weren't stopping.

But what else are we going to do?

What else?! We're going Home! And taking Baths! Putting on Jammies! And going to BED!

Well, that doesn't sound like a lot of fun.

Maybe not to you. But, believe me...it's the highlight of my day today!

Guess it's kinda hard to be the four-year-old sometimes.

Courage...

Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice
at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."
~Mary Anne Radmacher

"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of little children" ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Randomness...

For the first time in...well, I think since the inception of our home improvement "To Do" list...we crossed off a project without adding another one! I didn't think that was possible. For the longest time it seemed like for every item crossed off, three more were added. Very discouraging! I suppose that's the reality of owning an old house. However...today...the munchkins have doors on their closet! They have the coolest dad. Ever. And the 4-year-old informed us that he can now, finally, sleep with his eyes closed. Not sure how he's been sleeping for the past four years!

Yesterday was an odd sort of day. I'm making a birthday cake for a friend's daughter in next week. The soon to be 3-year-old requested a purple butterfly. I have a plan but I wanted to do a practice cake just to make sure it would all work...larger pan, different cooking technique and a new recipe for icing. So, yesterday, in between baking breaks I was going outside to put a fresh coat of paint on the closet doors. Apparently I really need to bake cakes more often--my children were really struggling with the concept of there being cake without being anyone's birthday!

Cake turned out perfect...the icing needs work, either that or I messed up the recipe somehow. Always a possibility. And the doors look fantastic.

I did want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers regarding all of us and our wee girl. I know I've only shared a little bit here and there and while I don't have any issues talking to people about it--the blog is really a little too public for some things some times. And since the end of February (when most of this started) we've just been really busy--busiest time of my year for work, Sean's been out of town a lot and then busy with work stuff. There really hasn't been room to worry! We've basically been in survival mode for the past four months!

I recently had a conversation with an old friend who asked me if I still had my Harley. He was dismayed when I told him I sold it three years ago when I was pregnant with Kyleigh. He said he couldn't be without a bike--it was therapy for him. I explained that I once felt the same way, but now--oddly enough--I no longer have the time nor the luxury to whine about needed therapy!

Anyway...in all of that...we have had people stepping up and helping out and just being amazing. We're so blessed with friends and family who have dropped everything to be here when we needed them! My dad made the two hour round trip a couple of times in order to pick Jacob up from school and hang out with him so Sean and I could both go to Kyleigh's various doctor's appointments. Our pastor got up in the pre-dawn hours in order to meet Kyleigh and I at the hospital the morning of her biopsy...just so I wouldn't have to wait alone. The school has allowed Jacob to hang out in their extended hours program--free of charge--on the few days we've had no other options. We have been totally and truly blessed throughout.

Today marked a couple of important milestones in our year...the pool was pulled out of the shed, filled, scrubbed clean and enjoyed by all. Even with shivering and lips turning blue, two munchkins had to be coaxed out of the water with bribes of snacks and juice! But the coolest bit? The fresh, just picked out of our garden baby arugula on my hamburger tonight. Delicious! I'm very much looking forward to a hamburger in a couple months with not just fresh lettuce, but fresh tomatoes and homemade pickles.

The garden report...

My husband and I tend to our various chores while the youngest family member naps (and for the record--I have not ever been, nor will I ever be, an advocate for "normal"...just sayin')...

Jacob and I spent this afternoon planting seedlings and installing tee-pee trellises for the tomatoes and okra...

Notice the creative use of the zip-ties...and the over achieving bush beans...

Of course, I wouldn't be...well...me...if I didn't include pictures of flowers.

Previous owners planted roses. I'm shocked and amazed I haven't killed them (the roses...not the previous owners).

We also inherited a patch of iris...I really need to thin these out later this year once they die back. There are some bare spots left in the yard that could do with a vibrant splash of purple.

Storm clouds...

I really am not sure how to write this post. I've started it--or ones just like it--numerous times over the past couple of months and I kept failing to either dig out what was inside of me or put it all together as a collective thought and articulate it in a way someone other than the voices in my head would understand.

"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up..."

Extensive blood work, x-rays, MRI and fluid samples taken from this little cutie's swollen-up-like-an-orange knee have all come back Inconclusive. All persons involved agree that there is, indeed, Something Wrong...just can't seem to find a Label. However, the Bad Stuff we don't want to even think about our children having has pretty much been ruled out.

This morning the orthopedic specialist discussed the fact that at some point we have to start treatment. The few abnormalities that keep popping up suggest Lyme Disease. Ironically enough, the first doctor suggested it back in February. But the blood work came back Maybe/Maybe Not.

So, this morning we left with a Plan. And a Treatment. Three weeks of antibiotics. Have you ever given a 2-year-old oral medication? Sounds simple enough. How about a stubborn, red head, 2-year-old? No? Her dose this evening ended up back on her, on me and on the floor--mixed with what she had managed to eat for dinner...and lunch. Bribery, hiding it, masking it with chocolate...nothing worked. And we have three weeks of this. Yea us. Assuming we can get the medicine down her, we should see a response in a few days. If not...well, our Plan has a part B.

Anyone who has dealt with a sick little one knows that feeling of Helplessness--the feeling that you've done all you can do but it's still not enough. The inability of the little one to tell you exactly where it hurts. The jammy snuggles on the couch.

This is my Child. One of two people on this Earth that I will die for. And we've been on this emotional roller coaster of Not Knowing. And it's a sucky place to be. And pointless. So I decided to not Worry. Yes, I was concerned and continued pursuing answers. But what good was I to everyone else in this family if I was wrapped up in Worry and Helplessness? And you know what? That tight band around my stomach loosened up...my brain slowed down enough at night to allow restful sleep.

Wow. Someone should write that stuff down! Worry=Sucky. Not Worrying=Restful Sleep.

Storm clouds...a promise of cleansing rain.

My views expressed in comic form...again...